Okay, for my guys, I had 1 General with the Feeling Poorly Trait; i.e. totally worthless, 3 Cretan Archers, 2 Phalanx Pikemen Divisions, 2 Selucid Archers, Slingers, one Chariot team, and several Peltast Brigades and 2 Mercenary Hoplites that had been a bit shredded from an earlier battle, all with Bronze Weapons, the Romans had none and while both of our armies were Greenhorns, the Romans do have two Bronze Chevron Early Legions. On my left they put the Siege Tower, which will be a recurring nightmare, on the right, the ladder, and in the middle, the Battering Ram. I put Archers on the right, single line formation, so I could fit all the Archers at once, Peltasts on the left attempting to scare off the Siege Tower, one Mercenary Hoplite division on the Gate and one hidden at the base of the tower. One Phalanx was only 5 rows deep, so everybody would hit at once instead of keeping their useless pikes in the air, and so it could cover the gate, and with my rotting general in back. The battle went exactly as I planned for the first five minutes, I shredded the Legionairres with the ladder, with a crapload of arrows, and the Peltasts did pretty good up until the Velites and Auxilia engaged them and shredded the lines. I got a bit scared so I began pulling my skirmishers off the walls and into the town square which has two exits, one wide and straight, and one narrow. The units I didn't list are hiding in the square, because I was sure I would lose this and have to go toe-to-toe with the Romans (Yuck!). As expected, the Siege Tower hit the wall, and my Mercenary Hoplites moved to intercept, and hopefully hold the line. BAD MOVE. I put them directly in front of the tower, and when that gate opened, the Romans had the equivalent of drop-kicking two lines of men off my own walls, so now I went from thinking i might hold the walls, to resolved to lose my Wonder, and I need 40% More Naval Sea Trade badly too.
Then the Ram busts the door in the nick of time, and the slaughter begins, wave after wave of men rush my phalanx, only to be stopped by the spear points, and die under almost a liquid hose of burning oil. Great plan, if the Legions at the top, didn't just steamroll my mercs and take the gate, luckily the cavalry was decimated and the morale was Wavering for the Romans while mine was still Steady.
I left a unit of archers as my rear guard and disable phalanx formation and ran like hell for the square. My plan worked and the archers died instead of my pikes. I then reassembled my pikes on the narrow entrance two ranks deep, but they also spanned the entire roadway. My Cretans still had just a little under a quarter supply of arrows left and rained holy hell on the invading Romans. My town turned into a giant deathtrap, with the towers constantly shooting at the men, weakening their morale, and in some cases panicking them. Several cav charges with only a handful of men almost boke my men, but I used the rally skill and they held. Several Legion divisons began marching down the straight road. I unleashed the chariots like buzzsaws of doom, and mowed down the entire section, a few peltasts also helped in slaughtering them. The first army began panicking and ran. I gave chase with my general and they hit quite a few numbr of men. I sent a few Peltasts up the gate and reclaimed it. Hot oil wiped out the remanants trying to flee from the first army. I sent out my general and all my Peltasts and melee'd the Siege Tower to death. At this point a horde of Cav Auxilia from the second and third armies began pounding the beejeezus outta my men and had everyone sally through the broken gate to the safety inside. I brought my fresh phalanx up and set formation 5 rows deep. The Cav Auxilia broke themselves on the phalanx and ran. I brought my cretans onto the wall and pounded the crap outta the third army which ran almost staight against my back wall. They broke and ran, with probably 65% of their men left, so I was really lucky. A stray arrow from a tower, claimed the general of the third army, which didn't help them battling my phalanx. Everytime it seemed like they would break me, a good rally and lots of hot oil usually did the trick. I had to swap my phalanxes out however, as they were getting badly beaten up from sheer numbers. The straw that broke the camels back was when the entire second Auxilia divison launched spears at my phlanax at the gate, and only succeeded in routing their own units from friendly fire casualties. We maimed them while they were retreating, with a bad losses of upwards of 2800 men. I still had about a solid 250 left. The Brutii actually did a Ceasefire Treaty after the loss I handed them. Now I have a fort on Rhodes with a crapload of archers...